Why men date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be filled with evils, cause sadness, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, finances, age difference, faith background, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, discreet dating for married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking an affair. I think generally though it is just the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos people has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You would need to lessen the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, huge actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed distantly, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.